Kids in Medan are doing too much
I have a memorable childhood… and still remembered those times very clearly… my typical day would be like, school till 3p.m, finished my homework off in the car!! Once got home, bath, changed and just sit right in front of the TV watching cartoon… I would then have dinner and once done with the last meal for the day, I was off outside kicking ball with my brother.. (I was a tomboy).. and it would be like 8 pm before my mum would screamed to call us into the house, changed and put to bed… It’s just like that.. fun and simple …
So, when I gave birth to my 2 boys, I want to make sure that they have an enjoyable and a memorable ones as well … we stayed at home mostly and only began taking the kids to Tumble Tots when they were 7 months old.. and then enrolled them at Highscope at 18 months…
When Jadon turned 3, his friends’ parents began talking of how his/her child attend drawing class, English class, mandarin class or other baby classes after school hours… one of them even attend Highscope in the morning and followed with Kinderland afterwards!!! … funny though, these parents would then often come to me and asked what are the extra classes that Jadon and Elson are taking… and when they heard that I said NONE, they would repeat the same question to me, making sure that I understood what they were asking..
I never really quite understand why parents are so anxious of the speed of their child education.. Kumon, a maths centre, was particularly popular… I am not sure if these parents feel that they want their kids to be faster or what… (they love comparing who’s who’s kids are in which level at Kumon)….. if you are not familiar with Kumon, it’s basically just Maths practice centre… kids are given worksheets to simply practice.. e.g 2+1 , 2+2, 2+3 i.e its those dead fixed questions…
Then when Jadon got into K1 at Piaget, it was worst… my goodness, majority of his classmates, I would say like 95% of them are attending outside classes after school for like 6 days a week!!! You can say that these kids have no free time to do other things at all!!!.. I do admit that I panic at first too.. and again, I was asked if Jadon and Elson are attending outside classes… and again I said No… except for Mandarin, the main purpose is to have other adults speaking to him in the language…
Instead, I was busy looking for a lot of sport activities for the boys to do… like swimming and, karate for self defense… being a parent to 4 and 6 years old, I can understand that school works are important, but I just feel that Kids in Medan are exercising too much of their left brain..
I then asked the parents don’t they think that the kids are doing too much, all of them replied the same thing to me… ‘rather than let them stay at home and watch TV and PLAY, and that we don’t know how to teach them personally…’ I feel real strange to hear those words…
I feel that many of the local mums here are still having the traditional mindset, like the old tradition school system whereby lots of homework are a must from schools.. however, in reality, and been proven and tested that Kids need the sport activities!!! and with that, it trains the kids to be a team player and a leader, where these are the 2 vital factors needed in the real world that we all look out for most in an individual…
and VDO games, been proven to help the kids in ability to learn.. and I absolutely support that… sound surprised? The games train them to think faster and react to the problems and situation better…. If I ever mention this to his classmate mothers, they must think I am some crazy woman… (sorry couldn’t find back the link to these articles)
to argue that parents have no time and the ability to teach their own child, its depressing to hear that… and definitely silly and an excuse… IMO, kids learn better from parents and that we, as a parents will know the strengths and weaknesses of our own child… how on earth, these parents think that by sending off to the extra classes will make them skyrock better… to an extend, yes, but still not the same as we spend the time with them..
worst yet, parents then complain of how much $$$ they are paying each month on the extra classes… whenever I hear that… I just want to ask them questions … but as we all know “as much as we may be right, some things are better left unsaid”
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medankota on June 16th 2009 in Medan Living, Medan School
chomel responded on 16 Jun 2009 at 8:58 am #
marsangel responded on 16 Jun 2009 at 2:31 pm #
It’s funny how you wrote this just a few days after a memorable phone call from my sister-in-law. It’s very memorable because both of us have very different opinions when it comes to children’s education. She expressed her disappointment over Piaget because there is no exam for K1 students. I was appalled when I heard that, but I let her went on with her complaining. She said she kept chasing after the teachers, asking why there was no exams, and why the students were not ranked.
Seriously, has she ever read any parenting magazines or books? Has she heard of holistic learning and multiple intelligences concepts? Or at least Montessori? That each child is unique and it’s best if we encourage them to pursue their talents?
I pitied her son because he has to go home to a spelling session with his mother. Twice a day. And she subjects him to stuff or words not taught yet at school and then bothers me when she doesn’t know how to pronouce those words correctly. She actually said she wanted her son to speak like a native, that’s why she sought for my help. I’m sorry, but I was born here and no matter what, there is no way that I will ever be able to have a native’s accent (really, each country has its own accent anyway). She’d bother me for half an hour over the phone, just to coach her in English.
Her son are enrolled in Mandarin and sempoa classes after school. She did mention that mothers in Piaget are constantly comparing their kids to others.
Really, is it that difficult for these mothers to grasp that kids at that age can learn through playing? Not to sound too snobbish, but I thought Piaget is a high-end school here, and parents are surely those who are educated or at least open-minded. But it seems I was proven wrong, because if that’s how most mothers acted over there, it’s safe to say they’re “kampungan” (i.e. from small villages) and have not kept up with the latest child development issues.
My son will be entering PG 1 at Piaget this July and I am so looking forward to the day he’ll finally speak more.
But I’m so NOT looking forward to have my son compared to others. I’m sure the other kids are smart students too, but so is my son in his special way. It’s just that we haven’t figured out what that is, and I’m hoping that the school will help us uncover his talents. And safe to say, I’m not going to enrol him into any extra classes soon. He’s just too young for that, and if I did enrol him, that’d be Mandarin. Universities don’t need kids who can do quick maths like sempoa and Kumon. Workplaces don’t need those kids. They need kids who can stand up for themselves and have their own mindset.
medankota responded on 16 Jun 2009 at 8:57 pm #
Hi marsangel,
BRAVO!!!! well said…. i totally agree with you
medankota responded on 16 Jun 2009 at 8:59 pm #
chomel,
I guess Medanese mum got the kiasu bugs since we are so close to the country… hhahaha
just me responded on 20 Jun 2009 at 12:49 am #
im a mother to a 6 years old girl an a 14 months boy. My little girl been in piaget 3 years now, started from PG-2, this coming july she will attend her primary 1 class,also in piaget. Before she been in piaget i never put her in another kidcourse, i teached her bymyself with baby einstein programes i got from internet. so technically piaget is her first experience in school. i myself always want my kids have an enjoyable life. i bought them education toys like v-tech and some from leafrog and i always encourage them to read cause i’m myself is a bookworm ^^. so my girl never attend any class outside the school even not mandarin class coz my hubby mother language is mandarin and all family member mostly speak in mandarin and for her homework my hubby fluent in mandarin both speaking and writing so he teach her, fortunetely my girl doesnt have problem in mandarin even until now after she finished her k-2 she never had mandarin course outside the school. i will be gladly if this condition keep going on but most of my friends whom their kids in piaget primary said that ” thats imposible for my girl if she dont have mandarin course coz piaget mandarin in primary completely difficult.” so i told my hubby we will looking forward for it… but thats is mandarin. Ok now math and english is totally different… why i said so… here it is my problem appeared when my girl starting her k-2 class, first and second term which is from june to december 2008 her teachers still very satisfied with my girl improvement. Because i didn’t put her in outside course i always try to follow up my girl work at school, just like how is she in writing or math or mandarin and reading. i always asked the same question everytime i fetch her up from class. In the third term which is started after x’mas holiday, it’s january 2009 suddenly her misses told me that my girl had a problem in reading and asked me to let her practice more, so i still with my rule to not put her in any course outside school i try to improve her reading by told her to try to read her storybook first then i will told her all the complete story in mandarin just for game coz we have a bedtime story moment. and also because i ve a thought 4 hours a day enough already, i want my kids have their time after school is fun time to do what they want to, until in february her misses told me again that my girl really can’t recognize the sounds of alphabet like she can’t recognize the different sound for c and k or g and j. so my friends whom her kid is same class with mine told me to try let her follow english class with her kid at eureka. i asked my girl and she gladly received it (maybe coz she thought can meet her friend again after school coz they close to each other). so i let her follow english course then at eureka…just two weeks after her private course her misses told me that she improved so much in reading now she didnt have any problem in reading and from my girl side.. coz i want to know how is her react with the situation. when i asked her this is how she answered me ” Mommy im so glad that you let me went to course with she mentions the two name of her friends, because now i have friends to do homework together even sometimes we teach each other who cant finished their work.” so i asked again now you can read already do you want me to let you continue or not? she told me please dont let her out she enjoy learning together with her friends. now she cant have english course again coz eureka only have math programe for P-1. Two weeks ago i told her that and her face turn sad she said why not anymore? she is so dissapointed so i told her how if i let her join math class in saturday morning so she still can learn with her friends and my girl directly hug me and said i want… i want thanks mom…. by that from mon to friday my girl doesnt have any class except swimming twice a week then. why i told you this…because not every mom put her kids in a class outside school on purpose just to force their kids to be the faster… or kiasu, maybe the reason is just worrying if their kids cant follow the lesson or because they dont have time, not dont want to but cant… we never know others family situation some mom have to work some have to takecare many kids,why i can said like this just because i never let my kids takecare by a nanny… i ve a servant to do housework like washing cleaning and other things but never if my kids things… i take care of them since born from a to z i do it all bymyself…just because of that i can understand why some mom said they dont have time … i can takecare of my kids and still have time to play with them because luckyly i dont need to do anything else…. and i dont have anything to worry about. in financial or anything but not all mom like me.im just one of the lucky wife and mom coz my only and special job that i greatfully wanted to… is to look after my kids. i believe in finding positive side in everything. i always try to think positive and i teach my kids to thing positive in everything …in people in any problem you face… try to think from the different side from other people so maybe you cant judge them so badly.My hubby once told me ” if you look at me you’LL see the view at my back is a black… but why dont you walk forward me and stand beside me so you cant see the same view as me and it is white not black.” the point of this statement is when you judge others, we always stand the opposite side from the people so we just see how we want and what we can see from ourside, but if you try to think from the same side maybe what we see will change. i follow your blog few months already some i agree with you but sometimes i just think dont need to jugde people too fast… as like the piaget mom you write…. i didnt say that looking at a person from head to toe is a good behavier but why dont we just think maybe she look at me like that becoz im good and wonderful maybe. and as i told you already im one of piaget mom also but i never go to school on purpose to show off but sometimes maybe i ll wear “too much for to go to school outfit” but that becoz i ve to go to another place after fecth my kid and i dont have time to go home change coz i never let nanny or driver fecth up my kid. Maybe some mom really really need to show off so they will feel satisfied but so what ….as long im not some of them thats ok for me already. Just let them be… Dont judge all mommy and i believe still have many many mom who really care for the kids except for show off or force their kid to be the faster or kia su mom at piaget. dont judge all just because a tiny little you been see or know. you dont know me at all so dont say mostly…. im not comment this to confront you, just wanna let you know.. not all piaget mom just like you thought of. Early i didnt have any comment becoz you never mention who, but now you said about mom in your son class and im the one. honestly i always enjoy your writing… and believe i know you re a nice person i know you from your blog not specific know you but i just thought you a good mom and honestly everytime met you at school sometimes i look at you but not in negative thinking i just found you interesting in your way or maybe just wana try to make a conversation coz same mom who kids been in same class .so maybe im the one you said looking at you and make you feel bother who knows rite? and you dont know what im thinking rite? i told you already i believe in finding positive side from everything as i believe everyone wish the best for their kids. maybe we all just believe in different way to do it. think positive. we all already confuse how to let the kids enjoy their school life, so dont add with the mom issues anymore. why dont we all just hope the school will become a better place to our kids to get their education. and once again i dont have any purpose to anything, just try to let you know who am i as one of piaget mom. before and after im sorry if you feel bother with this…. and keep going with your writing .. i enjoy it actually… and i found some joy in reading your blog especially about a girl with xxxxxl panties in airport… i laughed so loud till my baby little boy awake. thanks anyway.
Medankota responded on 20 Jun 2009 at 11:47 am #
just me…
oh dear…. first of all… I am so sorry… but cross my heart, you are not that someone or anyone… and sorry to say that I have no clue who you are even….
when I say Piaget mum, its never meant everyone… just some… and we all know that there are mums like that in school.. thats all… I am so sorry that if I have offended anyone..
about judging me on the first day of school… my god… it’s not you too!!! i dont even know how to put into words… but it was something that I experienced on the first step that I stepped into the school…
honestly, the only mum that I know in school and the only one that I am constantly in contact and know well is jadon’s best friend – Hubert family…
but sorry to anyone whom I have offended unknowing ly… as this is my blog, it’s something that I just write of how I feel of things…
just me responded on 21 Jun 2009 at 12:09 am #
i think there is a misunderstanding here. i didn’t mean who you said about is me…. and absolutely its not me at all offcourse, coz i almost never have a conversation with you … even if its just once maybe…. i just said that it could be me or anyother mom else. i just tell you my opinion about that things you write about.
actually i really enjoy your writing style…and honestly you ve an ability in that, so i just think why dont you use it to some more important issue, just like…. everybody know how horible the piaget bathroom smell and the condition is worst..terrible.and mostly no water. Me and many many other mom already complain so many times and no reaction.
As i heard primary bathroom is much more terrible. so just let you know many mom already complain why you never mention anything like that as the fact if that can make the school provide a capable bathroom for the kids… yeh they said better than keep complaning the mom issue….hehe… and back forward i already told you i never mean anything to offense you and im myself didnt feel bother. just as you are i just wanna let you know also not every mom in piaget as you said. but sometimes i just feel why should make others people unconvinient if we can think positively maybe it will change our point of view.
as you said all mom know you only knew one mom at piaget, so why you have to said something that can let others outside piaget think negatively about piaget mom? if you are one of the mom also.
but really dont feel bother, i told you already i like to think from different side from other people so before i judge you just wana know also why you keep think bad about piaget mom. just that ..yeah maybe just some discusstion. its ok for me i still enjoy your writing nomatter what. just curious ^^ so thanks for your reply and keep going on your good work. god bless you and your family.
Carnival of Family Life: Father’s Day Edition | Colloquium responded on 01 Jul 2009 at 2:43 am #
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MH responded on 01 Oct 2010 at 3:17 pm #
Hi, I know what you mean about too much emphasis on extra tuition outside school here in Medan. I know some parents who already put their 4 and 5 yrs old in extra tuition after school to help with their homeworks…(What the heck 4-5 yrs old doing with homeworks anyway and why can’t their own parents help with that level of works even if they are unlucky enough to be bombarded with it!?).
I found that nothing beats spending time with your kids and before all other working mothers jumped up and screamed at me, I am a working mother too but I found with organisation you can still spend much quality time with your kids.
My daughter learn most about manner, language, numeracy and attitude from me and my husband, through interaction with us, not because she has any extra tuitions or cared by endless streams of nannies. We baked at weekends, we hung out together doing arts and crafts (despite my severe limitations when it comes to that part), we swam, garden together, bang on piano and other instruments together pretending to be in rock bands. She learns her ABCs and numbers through all those activities and most of all, she learns to use her Ps and Qs consistently. What more can I want from a 2.5yr old?
The only thing I do miss b being in Medan is the lack of open playground where she can hone in her social skills in unstructured play time. Instead I have to be satisfied with putting her in playgroup and try to arrange play dates (another concept that is a little alien to many parents here too!).
If any parents with kids around the same age wish to organise play dates with me, I’d love it.
SumashtDilovf responded on 17 Oct 2010 at 3:41 pm #
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